(I'm grouping same-thoughts / related thoughts together. They will be labelled)

A::[I can very broadly tell apart two modes of communication I engaged in the past, polarized around a period that was just pretty harsh all around: Harsh on my body, radical nutrition habits (eggo waffles+soylent, solid-huel, soylent); harsh on my thoughts, unstimulated, drug-bound, constantly-incessantly anxious, quick to flip, quick to cry, quick to appease. "Felt in Intensive Quantities." Lets call this period "zero". (I don't care that this fucks up some of the meanings of relational attractions-oppositions. "Zero" state is supposed to be an unstimulated BwO. In this case, it's the exact opposite)]

A::[There was a time in my life where I had extremely self-destructive habits/feedbacks, and the way I thought about others was different before and after this. Lets call this time "zero"]

B::[Nowadays I'm focused around micro-sociopolitical circuits with the folks I "spend time with". We share a house. I (image of myself) leverage my capital power to ensure machines keep moving, and in ways that can be reproducable::repeated::habited::cyclical. I think about stratified/smooth space, and try to create stratified systems that can be easy to stim::follow, while also trying to encourage a level of flexibility::open-mindness::smoothness to my suggestions so as to keep social space reserved for completely different ideas or thoughts. This is mostly just external though.]

B::[Nowadays I just focus on keeping everyone around me empowered, in ways that can be summed up as structural and financial.]

C::[Everything freezes. Inhale. A moment. Exhale. A housemate of mine is despondent. I struggle to find the words to ask them about their lived reality. I'll probably say two or three different sentences that don't "connect", before swallowing my pride and using words that are (imo) loaded, but more understandable (against my wishes for a """clearer""" communication).]

C::[Everything freezes. Inhale. A moment. Exhale. A housemate of mine repents. Repenting feels to me incredibly arbitrary - blame::fault::accountability rings hollow. I think I know what it's like to repent: I know I don't know all the ways in which someone may repent; I know people don't need a reason to repent; I know people sometimes have direct/indirect ties to religious flow that introduce certain ideas of repentance into our minds; I know that repenting can be to some people just a form of thorough thinking to determine how the future ought to be different. Before and during zero, I regularly repented with a cat-o-nine-tails, because I saw Lady Farnese repent with a flog once Berserk Vol.17 Ch. It wasn't repenting as much as it was. A housemate of mine repents, THEY tell me repenting. I can't just throw out the word-action that pops in my mind for their actions - If I did, I'd abandon all words. My interfaces for such a reality-state - assuming the goal of empowering all those around me - is only machining. I'm sympathizing, and I'm empathizing, in the beloved theatre of mind, and yet I'm also not. A housemate of mine repents. I can talk to them. They can explain to me their systems, their lack-thereofs, I'll try to absorb everything. I'll try to mold my own brain into theirs and ""understand"".]

C::["I'm sorry you're going through this"]

D::[This empathy::sympathy dicho feels so lacking. I know that I'm trying to empower, and that's a presumption in of itself.]

D::[To try to make a situation better intra-personally and externally, I could be sympathizing. I'd offer advice, I'd persecute their system and offer them a turn of the celibate machine to understand that XYZ could help. I could not offer advice, allowing their system to remain uncontested. I need to interface at some point. It's compulsive, even.]

D::[To try to make a situation better intrapersonally, I could be empathetic. I could -E::[Wait, what the fuck does empathy even entail? I can perform all the empathy I want (see C) but it doesn't feel like empathy to me. Maybe I'm just one of the legendary, so-called, often self-proclaimed empaths. Maybe I'm so far detached from universals that all I can do is sympathize, and interface, for those are the only tools I've allowed myself to withold.]]

E::[Thinking about everything around me is necessarily a different state than not thinking about everything around me. The former state feels those analytic convergences. The former state provides textbook manipulation to discover the right series of words to use in order to empower the other. The former state, in compulsive, incessant, persecutive form, is the cult leader. It's Potential for absolute "efficiency", number crunching, stratified space, subversive behaviors and psychologik fields of study.]

E::[I don't like this damned Sym/Emp dichotomy. It forces you to "put yourself in the others shoes::really understand them" OR "pity::CBT::DBT::offer advice", with seemingly continuous, but ultimately discrete permutations of states and options. I'm using so many words for it too but usually people don't put much thought at all into empathy or sympathy. It comes to them seemingly naturally (miraculating?)]

F::[People suffer, and those who suffer around me are subject to my responses. [A masterfully crafted dud::a thoughtful response::a brief, shallow interpretation::an overthought, overstimulated impedance]::=>[Uncalled-for judgement::deeply needed advice::an overused saying::a schizophrenic gibberish]]

F::[[A little stratification::a communal understanding of the situation at hand], but with emphasis on loving. Let me know if you think of anything better.]